HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!!!!
It's so nice to be in a whole new year. Yes, I know that I'm a couple days late but, It's better late than never. Right?
I said goodbye to '04 like pretty much everyone else did. I was wasted way before 12 am and all too happy to take pics of us shooting the shit well after 12 am had hit. I was around friends who made every minute of bidding farewell to the year or Concerts Galore, a lot better to swallow.. We kissed, hugged and danced like fools. Most of us were retrying phone calls to locations far far away in hopes to hear a familiar voice scream back to us “HAPPY NEW YEAR”. We all were happy, and in the first couple of minutes, the new year seemed doable. None of us felt any bit older or wiser, just a little more loved. And then like that, everyone around me were dancing and laughing in slow motion. My life story was starting a new chapter. The slow motion represented the blank pages that awaits me. I felt my heart beating faster and I was a bit a dizzy. Was I going to have a panic attack here? In front of everyone? They were getting even slower and I was thinking with haste.
---------------I’m simple, never over the top with things and prefer the quite skies over fireworks. I read science fiction and almost vomit when I tried to read a romance novel. Even at 27, I still get extremely nervous when I dance with a guy. I sleep for many hours without feeling like I’ve slept the day away. I love coffee but I’m now forcing myself to love tea. I don’t consider myself beautiful, just pretty enough to get by. I love laughing with my friends, and I love my 15 year old nephew more than words can say. Some say it’s because he’s my family, some say that it’s because he’s a Cancer sign and we mesh well. I laugh when someone farts, snorts and do old 90’s dance moves.. I’m simple. I never look to take what I can get from my friends, I feel better knowing that they can take from me.---------
My heart had seemed to slow to a steady beat. The music was loud as ever and the slow motion was once more back to a regular speed. As I danced and laughed I figured to myself, ‘farewell 2004, hello ‘05’. I was feeling the glee of being intoxicated.
I found myself on the ‘D’ Train on January 1st 2005. Alone and attempting to complete a long journey back to the Bronx from Brooklyn.. Then it hit me. Its 2005.. What did I do that was so great in ‘04? What makes me want to look forward to this year? Oh my god, I can’t do this. It’s too soon.. But time waits for no-one and I was no longer drunk. It was real, ‘05 is here.
I freak out in silence, without anyone to catch me when I fall. I cried in front of an old couple who were too busy smiling cheerfully at each other as if they were just thankful to have lived to see another year approach. My whimpers succumbed to the rattling and screeches of the ‘d’ train as it made its way across the bridge. Suddenly, it becomes apparent, I am one person in a city of over 7 million and I’m scared shitless. I’m not afraid of the violence, just afraid of where this year will take me and will I be able to hack it at whatever I focus on in life.
Even though I’m afraid of this New Year. I am looking forward to many things that will keep me sane. Jason Mraz will be dropping another album THANK GOD!!!. Jupiter One will finish their record (hopefully) by the end of January, so I can buy my copy. STAR WARS is right around the corner, and now that I have gotten LOTR out of my system, I can focus more on my Harry Potter which will be released in the summer.
On the serious side of things. I plan to hug my friends and family more. End the feud between my family, Shop at the thrift stores in the village, be more driven and make sure that this place doesn‘t swallow me whole. If all goes according to plan, which they never really seem to do (but I‘m praying), I’ll ‘attempt’ to make some serious bread so I can move out to California and continue to work hard on my music.
HERE'S TO BIG IN '05 !!!!
This is a pic from NEW YEARS '05, Emily and I are stooping... We aren't short.. Dammit..
I said goodbye to '04 like pretty much everyone else did. I was wasted way before 12 am and all too happy to take pics of us shooting the shit well after 12 am had hit. I was around friends who made every minute of bidding farewell to the year or Concerts Galore, a lot better to swallow.. We kissed, hugged and danced like fools. Most of us were retrying phone calls to locations far far away in hopes to hear a familiar voice scream back to us “HAPPY NEW YEAR”. We all were happy, and in the first couple of minutes, the new year seemed doable. None of us felt any bit older or wiser, just a little more loved. And then like that, everyone around me were dancing and laughing in slow motion. My life story was starting a new chapter. The slow motion represented the blank pages that awaits me. I felt my heart beating faster and I was a bit a dizzy. Was I going to have a panic attack here? In front of everyone? They were getting even slower and I was thinking with haste.
---------------I’m simple, never over the top with things and prefer the quite skies over fireworks. I read science fiction and almost vomit when I tried to read a romance novel. Even at 27, I still get extremely nervous when I dance with a guy. I sleep for many hours without feeling like I’ve slept the day away. I love coffee but I’m now forcing myself to love tea. I don’t consider myself beautiful, just pretty enough to get by. I love laughing with my friends, and I love my 15 year old nephew more than words can say. Some say it’s because he’s my family, some say that it’s because he’s a Cancer sign and we mesh well. I laugh when someone farts, snorts and do old 90’s dance moves.. I’m simple. I never look to take what I can get from my friends, I feel better knowing that they can take from me.---------
My heart had seemed to slow to a steady beat. The music was loud as ever and the slow motion was once more back to a regular speed. As I danced and laughed I figured to myself, ‘farewell 2004, hello ‘05’. I was feeling the glee of being intoxicated.
I found myself on the ‘D’ Train on January 1st 2005. Alone and attempting to complete a long journey back to the Bronx from Brooklyn.. Then it hit me. Its 2005.. What did I do that was so great in ‘04? What makes me want to look forward to this year? Oh my god, I can’t do this. It’s too soon.. But time waits for no-one and I was no longer drunk. It was real, ‘05 is here.
I freak out in silence, without anyone to catch me when I fall. I cried in front of an old couple who were too busy smiling cheerfully at each other as if they were just thankful to have lived to see another year approach. My whimpers succumbed to the rattling and screeches of the ‘d’ train as it made its way across the bridge. Suddenly, it becomes apparent, I am one person in a city of over 7 million and I’m scared shitless. I’m not afraid of the violence, just afraid of where this year will take me and will I be able to hack it at whatever I focus on in life.
Even though I’m afraid of this New Year. I am looking forward to many things that will keep me sane. Jason Mraz will be dropping another album THANK GOD!!!. Jupiter One will finish their record (hopefully) by the end of January, so I can buy my copy. STAR WARS is right around the corner, and now that I have gotten LOTR out of my system, I can focus more on my Harry Potter which will be released in the summer.
On the serious side of things. I plan to hug my friends and family more. End the feud between my family, Shop at the thrift stores in the village, be more driven and make sure that this place doesn‘t swallow me whole. If all goes according to plan, which they never really seem to do (but I‘m praying), I’ll ‘attempt’ to make some serious bread so I can move out to California and continue to work hard on my music.
HERE'S TO BIG IN '05 !!!!
This is a pic from NEW YEARS '05, Emily and I are stooping... We aren't short.. Dammit..
posted by Farrah Phoenix at Monday, January 03, 2005
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