Following Through
Fire It up dammit!!
When I drink I recall the days of High School.. The only thing I remember saying is "Fire it up dammit".. My friend Joe a-k-a Joe da Hoe would roll up a blunt the size of Texas.. I would smoke until there was no more brain cells left to affect.. I kept on telling everyone how much I loved them & that I would conquer the world someday.. Well it's been years later & the only thing I've conquered is college..
In 2000 I caught myself thinking how come I never finished anything I started. I would start out with determination & drive but nothing.. My motivation would just die within days of starting anything.. Then came 2001.. I thought to myself that I would make the trip from Minnesota to Florida.. I set out on my drive September 1st... There were times when I felt like turning back, but what would I accomplish by turning back?... I found myself on the outskirts of Chicago.. It was raining so hard that the freeway was flooded out. There were cops telling us to turn back and try to enter from another route.. But I had no idea where I was.. I started to panic, asking myself why in the hell did I pick Florida... It was a cross between two states.. California or Florida.. I chose Florida because even though I wanted to get away from my family, I didn't want to be too far away.. Plus... Florida has Miami.. Home of the cuties.. So I thought..
After finding an officer of the law, I explained to him that I was lost & that I was heading to Florida & I didn't have any clue on how to get back onto the freeway. He replied.. "I drive to Florida all the time".. Well that was a relief.. "If you follow me, I can take you to a part of the freeway that isn't flooded. Then you can take that & continue your journey".. I wanted to kiss him. He was my guardian angel in a strange stormy place..
After hours & hours of driving, I did make it to Florida. I stopped off at my aunt's house & collapsed on the bed.. It was like making love while intoxicated.. Your heart was in it but your body just couldn't move. After about 10 minutes, I managed to drag myself up & headed to the shower.. I hadn't showered in days & man did I need it.. After all those rest stops I never thought once to freshen up.. I ended up falling asleep in the shower ... Huh.. Go figure.. Those 3 days spent in Orlando was well spent doing nothing.. I realized I still haven't finished my journey. So once again I set off, further south. This time with freshly washed clothes, food & a refill of cigarettes. As I continued my journey to Boca Raton, I saw the ocean.. It was beautiful.. I almost cried.. I was actually here.. I did it.. All those times I had threatened myself to turn back.. I could have failed but I kept going.. For once I saw what happens when you Follow Through.. I was overwhelmed at the feelings I was feeling.. No one could take this away from me..
I now go on with the feeling that I can do anything I put my mind to.. I really don't think I 'd be able to conquer the world but I do think I can conquer this guitar..
When I drink I recall the days of High School.. The only thing I remember saying is "Fire it up dammit".. My friend Joe a-k-a Joe da Hoe would roll up a blunt the size of Texas.. I would smoke until there was no more brain cells left to affect.. I kept on telling everyone how much I loved them & that I would conquer the world someday.. Well it's been years later & the only thing I've conquered is college..
In 2000 I caught myself thinking how come I never finished anything I started. I would start out with determination & drive but nothing.. My motivation would just die within days of starting anything.. Then came 2001.. I thought to myself that I would make the trip from Minnesota to Florida.. I set out on my drive September 1st... There were times when I felt like turning back, but what would I accomplish by turning back?... I found myself on the outskirts of Chicago.. It was raining so hard that the freeway was flooded out. There were cops telling us to turn back and try to enter from another route.. But I had no idea where I was.. I started to panic, asking myself why in the hell did I pick Florida... It was a cross between two states.. California or Florida.. I chose Florida because even though I wanted to get away from my family, I didn't want to be too far away.. Plus... Florida has Miami.. Home of the cuties.. So I thought..
After finding an officer of the law, I explained to him that I was lost & that I was heading to Florida & I didn't have any clue on how to get back onto the freeway. He replied.. "I drive to Florida all the time".. Well that was a relief.. "If you follow me, I can take you to a part of the freeway that isn't flooded. Then you can take that & continue your journey".. I wanted to kiss him. He was my guardian angel in a strange stormy place..
After hours & hours of driving, I did make it to Florida. I stopped off at my aunt's house & collapsed on the bed.. It was like making love while intoxicated.. Your heart was in it but your body just couldn't move. After about 10 minutes, I managed to drag myself up & headed to the shower.. I hadn't showered in days & man did I need it.. After all those rest stops I never thought once to freshen up.. I ended up falling asleep in the shower ... Huh.. Go figure.. Those 3 days spent in Orlando was well spent doing nothing.. I realized I still haven't finished my journey. So once again I set off, further south. This time with freshly washed clothes, food & a refill of cigarettes. As I continued my journey to Boca Raton, I saw the ocean.. It was beautiful.. I almost cried.. I was actually here.. I did it.. All those times I had threatened myself to turn back.. I could have failed but I kept going.. For once I saw what happens when you Follow Through.. I was overwhelmed at the feelings I was feeling.. No one could take this away from me..
I now go on with the feeling that I can do anything I put my mind to.. I really don't think I 'd be able to conquer the world but I do think I can conquer this guitar..
posted by Farrah Phoenix at Tuesday, September 21, 2004
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